Thursday, April 27, 2006

The Chinese Die?

This morning, as I was driving down the good ole NJ Turnpike, I spotted a hearse in the right hand lane. My first instinct was to slow down and cross myself. Then I started to wonder: can I pass the hearse? Where is the rest of the procession? I realized that this wasn't a procession, but someone driving a hearse to a destination. As I got closer, I saw the New York tags. I continued to pass and saw Chinese letters on the window. When I finally got to the driver side window I saw a Chinese man driving the hearse. I immediately had a blond moment -

The Chinese die?

There is something seriously wrong with me this week.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Stuff I've Done

I found this online and started thinking about all the stuff I've done and well, stuff I haven't done either. Stuff I've done is bolded for your ease. Feel free to do it too...

Smoked a cigarette
Drank so much you threw up
Crashed a friend's car
Stolen a car
Been in love
Shoplifted -
does opening food at the grocery, sampling it, and then not purchasing it count?
Quit your job
Filed for divorce
Been in a fist fight
Broken a bone
Saved someone's life
Been arrested
Gone on a blind date
Lied to a friend
Skipped school
Seen someone die
Been to Canada
Been to Mexico
Been on a plane
Been lost - both mentally and physically
Been on the opposite side of the country
Swam in the ocean
Felt like dying
Been stung by a bee
Played cops and robbers - I was also a big fan of Manhunt
Recently coloured your hair -
just last week! I have this one grey hair, right on the top of my head...
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
Made prank phone calls
Lost over 20 pounds
Caught a snowflake on your tongue
Danced in the rain
Written a letter to Santa Claus
Been kissed under the mistletoe
Had your opinion printed in the newspaper
Taken a bubble bath with someone
Made a bonfire on the beach
Crashed a party
Gone roller-skating

Not too shabby, I guess. But this was a mild list, in my opinion.

Friday, April 21, 2006


I don't like to talk politics - it's definitely one of those topics that will always leave people angry, upset, fighting, or all of the above. So I stay clear of conversations that head in that direction. The one thing I do always ask, though, is if people vote. Here's my thinking - if you vote, you can complain. If you don't, keep your trap shut, register to vote and go do it. After you've done that, then feel free to complain about politicians and Washington and the president. But if you haven't voted, SHUT THE HELL UP!! I don't want to hear it. 'Nuff said.

Have a good weekend.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

"The outfit is actually nauseating today"

Yes, that the way my friend - "the source" - puts it. Although this is yesterday's outfit, it's still good. Read on...

The outfit is actually nauseating today. She's wearing khaki stretch pants that are so skin tight, as a co-worker put it, "I can see what she ate for dinner last night." You know when pants buckle in bands because they are so tight? That's what we're seeing. They come to a narrow finish right above the ankle, and the pants are "finished" by a metallic beaded stripe running down each side the full length of the pant. These lovely pants are topped by a 1980's-era beige houndstooth jacket, double breasted and falling right below the butt. I wish she'd button it so we wouldn't see the camel toe. For shoes, we've got beige high heeled strappy sandals (we're not allowed to wear open toed shoes in the workplace, but I guess with sandals, you don't need trouser socks). Under the jacket, a white t-shirt (I suspect the Everlast logo is lurking under there). And of course, topped by the blue scrunchy.

With each passing day of hearing what the crazy bad dresser ex-coworker is wearing, I am grateful that I now work in an office where most people wear suits everyday. Yes, it's a little boring, but at least I don't have to look at camel toes.

This morning, on the half mile walk from my car to my office, I noticed something: the trees have leaves on them! It's like it happened overnight! Yippee!! Allergy season has arrived!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Wednesday Meme

I'm being lazy today and don't want to sit and type all morning, so I entered my age into some program and this is what I found out...

You said your birthday is 3 / 8 / 1975 which means you are 31 years old and about:

58 years 4 months younger than Walter Cronkite, age 89
53 years 8 months younger than Nancy Reagan, age 84
50 years 9 months younger than George Herbert Bush, age 81
43 years 5 months younger than Barbara Walters, age 74
41 years 4 months younger than Larry King, age 72
35 years 1 month younger than Ted Koppel, age 66
31 years 8 months younger than Geraldo Rivera, age 62
28 years 8 months younger than George W. Bush, age 59
23 years 8 months younger than Jesse Ventura, age 54
19 years 4 months younger than Bill Gates, age 50
14 years 6 months younger than Cal Ripken Jr., age 45
8 years 8 months younger than Mike Tyson, age 39
4 years 7 months younger than Jennifer Lopez, age 35
0 years 10 months older than Tiger Woods, age 30
7 years 3 months older than Prince William, age 23

and that you were:
26 years old at the time of the 9-11 attack on America

24 years old on the first day of Y2K
22 years old when Princess Diana was killed in a car crash
20 years old at the time of Oklahoma City bombing
19 years old when O. J. Simpson was charged with murder
17 years old at the time of the 93 bombing of the World Trade Center
15 years old when Operation Desert Storm began
14 years old during the fall of the Berlin Wall
10 years old when the space shuttle Challenger exploded
8 years old when Apple introduced the Macintosh
8 years old during Sally Ride's travel in space
6 years old when Pres. Reagan was shot by John Hinckley, Jr.
4 years old at the time the Iran hostage crisis began
1 year old on the U.S.'s bicentennial Fourth of July

Cell Phone Use

For the last five years or so, I've become dependent on my cell phone. I use my cell phone so much, I rarely use my land line at home and when it rings, I actually jump upon hearing the ring.

Yesterday, I went out to lunch with a co-worker and later to a meeting where I sat next to her. For the entire four hours we spent together, the phone was either attached to her ear or she was text messaging. As soon as we got into the car to have lunch, she was chatting away. And during the meeting, it was type type type for a few hours.

This morning, I stopped to get gas on the turnpike (my new favorite place to get gas!) and the guy who pumped my gas was cleaning my windshield. I was amazed by this and thought to tip him when he was finished. Then I realized he was on his cell phone! He finished cleaning the window, finished pumping the gas, and gave me my receipt - never once interupting his conversation on his cell phone.

I started this post by saying that I depend on my cell phone a lot. But it just seems strange to me that people don't even put their phones on silent ring anymore, not even for work! What did these people do before cell phones?

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Surprise Gift for Annie

A few weeks ago, I write a long post about my favorite songs from A to Z. Little did I know that my sis-in-law would read my blog and have all the songs downloaded onto a CD for me. Now, I'm driving to work every morning and nearly crying my eyes out. I didn't realize that she created a PMS CD for me cry to!

Monday, April 17, 2006

Poetic Waxing

A few weeks ago, as I was headed to work, I heard one of the morning DJ's talking about Poetic Wax. As a Latina, I must wax. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. I have used other products (tweezers, skin creams, etc), but nothing is as good as waxing. Anyhow... I found the wax, ordered it, and when it arrived at my house last week, stared at the box for a few days. Finally, on Saturday night, I took it out of the box, read the directions, melted the wax, and went to work. Now, I discintly remember the DJ saying that it wasn't that painful. Yeah, right. Poetic wax, my ass! It went on wonderfully; it even had a great scent. But pulling that off was torture. The only thing poetic was the profanity coming from my mouth as tears welled up in my eyes. But it did work. I wish I could complain more about it, but the set came with a bottle of cleanser and a bottle of oil. No irritation afterward! I can't complain about that. But hey - I can complain about the pain of that wax coming off.

The damn price of beauty.

*I don't wax my eyebrows. I have a girlfriend who 'threads' them for me. The result is amazing. I've never had such beautiful eyebrows! For those of you who want to know about threading, maybe I'll post about the joys of threading one day.*

Friday, April 14, 2006


Last night, I met with some old co-worker friends for drinks. We got to talking about the bad dresser crazy co-worker, as our gatherings usually do. Just for fun, I thought I would post an old email she sent me:

I have a running list for the busses going to the Charity Ball. We have two busses from Franklin Lakes and one bus from Paterson.
Please fell free to pass all calls for the buss to me, and when the busses are full I will let you know.

Thank you so much,

This email is wrong on so many levels. First, we aren't "friends." Second, who doesn't know how to spell "bus"? Third, don't wish me peace. I have enough peace in my life without her phony retarded self wishing it to me.

Thursday, April 13, 2006


Yes, it's very funny. But it's also very true. Enjoy!

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Happy Birthday, 56!

Dear 56:

Happy 28th birthday! I heard from my husband that it was your special day and thought, why not post? And since I also heard you were a reader of this blog, I thought you might enjoy it. So here it is: you're famous now!


Take a pick...

Take a pick from the following and tell us why:

1. Would you rather be a musician or an actor?

While I really love music, I'm not much of a singer, so to spare the world from my terrible singing voice, I'll go with actor. That way, I can be in a comedy and sing for laughs.

2. Would you rather have a son or a daughter?

At this point, I would just like a child. It really doesn't matter if it's a boy or girl, but if I do have a girl, I am putting her in one of those elastic headbands everytime she visits her Aunt Jacky.

3. Pub or a club for you?

Definitely pub, and hopefully they have Heineken Light. I tasted it this weekend and really liked it. I'm getting old and don't like clubs anymore.

4. Country or city life?

City life, for sure. There's something about the accesibility of a city that appeals to me. If I need quiet, I can always decorate my bedroom to be a quiet haven.

5. Would you rather die in a road accident or be murdered?

I would rather die in a road accident where I don't feel anything. I would also like to be singing along to my favorite songs. It would be a plus if I don't even know it's going to happen. There's something about being murdered that reminds me too much of
The Sopranos.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Bonus - Wardrobe Update

Just in:

Well, we're looking more spring-like today. The shirt is a gray cotton pinstriped blouse. The sleeves are about 3 inches shy of the wrist. This is paired with a darker gray pair of cotton cropped pants, with a metallic silver pinstripe. The pants and blouse do not match -- they are different shades, and the pinstripes are different colors and widths. Under the cropped pants are a pair of WHITE trouser socks with a large circular pattern (the circles contrast with the pinstripes, I guess), with 4 inch black sling-back pumps. All topped, of course, with the homemade blue scrunchy.

Rita's Water Ice

Last night, I came home with a craving for Rita's. I ate dinner, thinking the craving would go away. It didn't. I mentioned to my hubby that Rita's would be ideal (it took him over an hour to get the hint that he should go out and get some). By the time he left to get it, it was almost nine. When he got to Rita's, he called to tell me that it closed at nine. WTF??

I didn't want anything else; I told him to just come home. I proceeded to fall asleep around ten last night, with visions of mango flavored water ice on my mind. I thought when I got up this morning, my craving would be gone. But alas, it's not. I hate cravings that I can't satisfy.

Friday, April 07, 2006

One More Post

I know I posted a few hours ago, but I just got this in my inbox and frankly, it's too good not to post - for your entertainment, today's wardrobe pick:

Well, it's casual Friday and boy, are we casual! Note that it is 45 degrees outside. We're wearing summer weight khaki cargo pants with zippers all over, topped with a regular white t-shirt (if she owns this, why all the wife beaters? It doesn't look new...) This is topped by the son's discarded Army-green cotton zip up sweater, unzipped. Best part of the outfit is the 3-inch wedge beige flip flops. Not only are they against dress code, but FLIP FLOPS in 45 degree weather? Of course, the outfit is completed by the home-made blue scrunchy...

I had a message yesterday regarding the crazy bad dresser ex-coworker.
Amy wanted to know more about her - was she fat, skinny, ugly, etc. Basically, the crazy bad dresser ex-coworker is thin, but if you ask her, she'll tell you she is overweight. She truly doesn't have any fat on her. When she started working with me, she used to eat only yogurt. Yogurt for lunch everyday. And two Diet Sprites. Then she moved into tuna fish from a bag and cheese. When I left the job, she was on Campbell's Split Pea Soup. One can a day. Sometimes mixed with water and microwaved; other times just right out of the can. She's also very tall. Blond hair (dyed - I think she's a redhead), usually straightened with an iron and very very fair. Some days, she wears lots and lots of makeup (Chanel, Yves St. Laurent, etc - never Revlon of Covergirl). Other days, nothing on her face. She likes to think she looks like Heather Locklear, but I think she looks more like Lynn Redgrave. I hope this description, paired with the outfits, gives everyone a clearer picture of her.

**UPDATE: Details about the scrunchie - It is made of irregularly shaped (vaguely triangle) pieces of gauze (edges unfinished) in electric blue and a lighter blue, with irregularly placed small beads and sequins on the pieces of material. It looks like an '80s craft project.
Also, the white t-shirt that I thought was better than a wife beater -- well, she took the sweater off and it says "Everlast" in big letters. Sigh.**


I used to have this friend, we'll call her Q, as in Q-tip. Her name didn't start with Q, it's just that I don't know nearly enough words that start with Q, so I thought I would use it. Anyway... we became friends when we were about 14 years old. Our friendship carried out over the years. We saw eachother's successes and failures, and supported eachother when times were tough. By the time we went off to college, Q was living with a boyfriend, so she stayed behind and enrolled at FIU. I, on the other hand, had no real attachment to Miami, so I went away to Florida. During that time, Q's mother died (her father had died many years before), and my family was there for her, offering her comfort and all that goes with it.

When I graduated from college, I moved back home, and my friendship with Q was stronger than ever. On day, she broke up with her longtime boyfriend and had no where to go. So, my family opened their doors to her (and her brother), and for a few months, Q and her brother lived with us. After a few months, Q decided to buy a place of her own and moved out. But the ties were still very strong. Afterall, it seemed we were among the only family she had at this point.

While all this was happening, I met a boy!! A very nice boy, as they say. He was a little bit older, Cuban-raised, Catholic school educated, and came from a good family. My folks were thrilled! Everybody was thrilled that I was so happy. Especially Q (I should have known something was up right there).

But after a few months, the very nice boy was acting strange. He told me he wanted to take "a break", which we all know is never a good sign of things to come. Since I was still goo-goo over him, I agreed, thinking he'd be back as soon as he realized what a great catch I was. But it didn't turn out that way. It turned out that for months prior, he had been dating Q on the side.

When I found out, I was dumbfounded. Not so much because of the very nice boy, but because I felt so betrayed by Q. I confronted her, and she didn't deny anything. As a matter of fact, she made it seem like what had happened was perfectly normal. To me (and maybe I'm just too sensitive - please, correct me if I'm wrong), it was not perfectly normal, and I told her so. I also told Q that our friendship had come to an end.

A few weeks later, she came to my house and talked to my parents. She explained what had happened, thinking my parents would understand her situation and "take her side." From what I understand, and I wasn't there when it happened, my father threw her out of the house. Threw her out of the house.

It was the only time in my life that I have ever taken my friendship away from anyone.

I found out a few years later that they were engaged to be married. I thought about sending a gift, but figured it would be better to throw the money down the sewer. And I don't think this because I was hurt over losing the very nice boy (hell, those come and go like the breeze), it's because I felt betrayed by my friend. Years later, I am very much in love with someone else and happily married, but I still don't forgive her.

Does that make me a bad person?

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Just in

This, just in, from one of my 'sources':

Blue Treasure Island hand-made-in-eighth-grade hair tie. Nehru-style banded collar long blazer, falling 4 inches above the skirt hem, made of 3/4 inch black and tan plaid checks. But here's the kicker: it's SO 1983 that the collar and closure placket are trimmed with an extremely prominent one inch wide strip of black leather. Black crew neck shirt, and not even the shiny one! Shoes are 4 inch black wedge heels, with the back part of the heel only an inch wide, widening out towards the front. At least it has ankle straps. Black skirt falling 4 inches above the knee. Sexy! And finally an impressive decision to wear black tights instead of white. Why does she compulsively wear leather to work? Is it because she bought it all in the 80's when is was fashionable along with Madonna-style black rubber bangles?

I think I would have enjoyed my day if I still worked there. Sheesh!

I Didn't Believe It Was True

I heard about this yesterday on the radio, and this morning, read about it online. When I heard it yesterday, I didn't believe it was true; I thought it might just be a late April Fool's Day joke. Of course, it wasn't. Are people retarded? Or just plain ghetto?

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Random Thoughts by Annie

Ha! I didn't realize my heading was like the old Jack Handy one. LOL!

First topic: check this out - On Wednesday of this week, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06.That will never ever happen again in our life time.

Second topic: This morning, while I was drying my hair, my husband came into the bathroom to let me know "the old crow made her announcement." I looked up at him, confused. "What?," I said. "You know, the old crow, she's leaving the Today Show and she just announced it. I rewound it for you to watch." So, out into the living room I go, to hear Katie Couric's on-air resignation.

Unlike my husband, I don't hate Katie Couric. I don't think she's an old crow. I like Katie Couric. I think she's kinda cute. And I met her once a few years ago, when my
old employer was featured on the plaza on morning. Yes, she is old. Yes, she wears way too much make up. But she's sweet and she has a nice smile. I'll be sad to see her go, although I'm secretly hoping that Ann Curry gets her spot.

Third topic: the weather in Northern New Jersey has been a complete crapshoot the last few weeks. Especially the last seven days. Last week, we had the best weather of the year. We had sunshine, light breezes, and 65 degree weather. Over the weekend, we had more of the same, except the temperature dropped a light bit. Monday, it was freezing. Monday night, we had a rain storm that reminded me of driving along the Florida turnpike when I was in college. The rain was coming down so fast furiously that I couldn't see the cars in front of me. Yesterday, sunny, but cold. This morning, grey and gloomy. Between meetings this morning, I stopped to get a coffee. When I arrived at Dunkin' Donuts, it was sleeting. It suddenly stopped. Now, it's snowing. The weather gods are playing tricks on us, I think. I bet tomorrow it'll be 80 degrees and sunny.

Fourth topic: For as long as I can remember, music has been part of my life. When I was a little girl, I used to sing Copacabana, I Will Survive and Dancing Queen at the top of my lungs. Years later, I sing to the radio as I drive. The great thing about music is that is takes me back to certain times in my life. Sometimes, they remind me of sad times. But oftentimes, I feel happy and nostalgic when I hear some of these songs.

My favorite songs from A to Z (with the exception of V and Z!):

  • Ants Marching by the Dave Matthews Band - this song reminds me of my Birkenstock-wearing college days. Life was simple then, although I didn't realize it then. Also, Against All Odds by Phil Collins. This is one of those songs that I used to listen to just to make myself cry. What can I say? I'm an odd duck.
  • Baby, I Love Your Way by Peter Frampton - this one is a classic. It's just romantic.
  • Copacabana by Barry Manilow - my all-time favorite song. In my European travels, I taught my traveling partners the lyrics.
  • Dancing Queen by ABBA - this song reminds me of many stages of my life. First, it reminds me of my childhood. Many years later, as I travelled through Europe, I heard this song over and over, and danced to it many nights during my travels.
  • Everyday by James Taylor - this song was on the radio one summer night in 1992. I was in high school, all dressed up with friends, and we were at the drive thru at Miami Subs on US1.
  • For You by Kenny Lattimore - I first heard this song in college and predicted it would be my wedding song. It wasn't. But then again, the man I thought I would dance with didn't turn out to be the one either. Funny how life takes turns for the better.
  • God Bless the USA by Lee Greenwood - whenever I hear this song, I remember September 11th and the outpouring of love for our country that is oftentimes missing.
  • How Deep Is Your Love by The Bee Gees - ever since I was a little girl, I have known this song is special. I remember hearing it when I watched Saturday Night Fever. My husband and I later danced to it during our wedding reception.
  • I'll Never Fall in Love Again by Tom Jones - this song is so sad and whenever I hear Tom Jones sing it, it brings tears to my eyes.
  • Just the Way You Are by Billy Joel - a song about unconditional love.
  • Killing Me Softly by Roberta Flack - have you ever heard Roberta Flack sing? Her voice is beautiful.
  • Lady by Kenny Rogers - another song that brings tears to my eyes. The Kenny Rogers version is full of emotion and it overwhelms me that a song can convey so much love for a woman.
  • Moon River by Jerry Butler - one of the first 'romantic' songs my husband played for me. I thought it was cheesey. Then I listened to the lyrics.
  • No More Tears (Enough is Enough) by Donna Summer and Barbra Streisand - one of the songs I used to sing before I could speak English.
  • One by U2 - I first saw U2 when I was senior in high school. I listened to it throughout my freshman year of college too.
  • Penny Lane by The Beatles - I am a fan of any Beatles song. This one reminds me of my early years in high school. There was a girl who used to sing it all the time.
  • Que Sera Sera by Various Artists - this is one of those cheesey lounge-type songs that reminds me of Las Vegas.
  • Rock With You by Michael Jackson - the *real* Michael Jackson. When he had a real nose and real hair. He was awesome!
  • Saving All My Love for You by Whitney Houston - this is one of Whitney Houston's first hits and I remember playing it over and over in our basement when I was about 9 years old.
  • That's the Way I've Always Heard it Should Be by Carly Simon - like Roberta Flack, Carly Simon's voice is fantastic. Very sultry, she sings with lots of emotion. I love it.
  • Unforgettable by Nat King Cole - I'm very partial to the version with his daughter, Natalie. The way the voices harmonize with eachother make the song easy on my ears. It's also the song I danced to with my father at my wedding, and my husband with his mother.
  • Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton - my wedding song. It's also the first song I ever danced to with my husband, before I even realized I would marry him.
  • Xanadu by Oliva Newton-John - another one of the songs from my childhood. I remember watching her concert on HBO, singing this song, and wanting to go to this place where nobody dared to go.
  • You Make Me Feel Brand New by The Stylistics - another one of my college-era songs. Nice harmonizing, I could never sing like that.

And it finally stopped snowing!

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

The Mighty Gators, James Blunt, and More Fantasy Baseball

So, it happened - the Gators won the National Championship! GO GATORS!! It was a great game - I loved watching it and realizing very early on that it was all about the Gators. My only wish is that I could be in Gainesville celebrating like I did back in early 1998 when the Gators won their first football championship.

Ok, how many times a day do I have to hear the James Blunt song? I am so over it. I think I have heard it at least once a day for the last four or five months. Enough already! Everyone knows that he's so sad because he ran into his ex-girlfriend and she was with a new boyfriend. Listen, James, get over it! Move on! And quit your whining already!

The hubby finally got his fantasy baseball league working last night. Following up from Friday's post, he did come home on Saturday and have a "live draft" scheduled for that night (these guys have nothing better to do on a Saturday night??). Anyway, it didn't work. So he scheduled another on for last night and assured me it would take 20 minutes. Yeah, right. An hour later (at midnight), he comes strolling in the bedroom wanting to talk about the day's event. This is how it's going to be until October. Everynight, he'll go online and make trades, read about players on the disabled list, check the pitching schedule, and try to figure out where he stands in the ranks. So much time goes into this - I wish he would use some of the time to vacuum every once in awhile. :)

But on a good note, the Yankees actually did win last night. I wonder if it helped in the hubby's overall standing...

Monday, April 03, 2006

Outfit of the Day

This, from one of my "sources" -

So it's a pink jacket. bright. It looks like fleece, but perhaps it's a wool blend of some sort. And it has 7 zippers. two on each sleeve cuff, around 5 inches long. One up the middle for closure of course. Then two on each side of the front (two vertical zippers and two diagonal zippers), prominently displaying the layout of likely vestigial pockets. We're talking large, long, wide, ugly zippers, with big black pulls. Plus each front panel has a small pocket flap by the hip, assumedly vestigial as well, as one could imagine one would see on military garb or a hunting jacket. Lastly, it has large back vents on either side, like an exaggeration of a man's dress shirt. The skirt is black, and falls a few inches about the ankle. It's slim fitting. Black tights or trouser socks. black mules in the rain. 3 inch heel. Came in with unkempt wet hair from it's weekly shampoo, and she claimed to use Pantene products.

Where can I find a wardrobe like this??

Go Gators!

Will they win tonight or not? I predict (and hope!) the Gators will win. There's nothing like bleeding orange and blue.