Wednesday, February 01, 2006

"Jersey Girl" Rant

Ok, so maybe I am kind of grounded in Jersey. I found this in one of my archived emails. I've attached some of it here, complete with commentary... It appears I know plenty about Jersey, but I am still adamant about not being "typical".

If you live in or have ever lived in'll appreciate this...if not, you may be surprised!

New Jersey is a peninsula. Is it really? I can't tell on a map.

Highlands, New Jersey has the highest elevation along the entire
eastern seaboard, from Maine to Florida. Where is Highlands? I don't think I've ever heard of it.

New Jersey has more Cubans in Union City (1 sq mi.) than Havana, Cuba. Ok, fine, I did know this. But I'm Cuban - I'm supposed to know this!

New Jersey has the highest property taxes in the nation. Most definitely.

New Jersey has the most diners in the world and is sometimes referred to as the "Diner Capital of the World." Absolutley. My husband has been to virtually every diner in Northern New Jersey.

New Jersey is home to the original Mystery Pork Parts Club (no, not Spam): Taylor Ham or Pork Roll. First of all, it's brand name is Taylor, so most folks call it "Taylor ham." I haven't really heard people call it pork roll, but that's what the box says it is. Taylor ham is something completely from Jersey. The trick to cooking it is to make slits into it, so it doesn't curl up in the frying pan (a trick I learned from my mother-in-law).

North Jersey has the most shopping malls in one area in the world, with seven major shopping malls in a 25 square mile radius. Did someone mention shopping??

New Jersey has 50+ resort cities & towns; some of the nation's most famous: Asbury Park, Wildwood, Atlantic City, Seaside Heights, Long Branch, Cape May. Have I visited all of these? I would have to say "yes".

Jersey tomatoes are known the world over as being the best you can buy. That's what I've heard, but since I don't like tomatoes, I can't say for sure.

New Jersey is home to one of the nation's busiest airports (in Newark): Liberty International. That's strange to me, cause it doesn't seem so big to me. JFK seems larger.

George Washington slept here. Several important Revolutionary War battles were fought on New Jersey soil, led by General George Washington. Growing up, our teachers used to boast about how Washington fought part of the Revolutionary War down the street from our school. That made all us geeky kids feel pretty cool.

The light bulb, phonograph (record player), and motion picture projector, were invented by Thomas Edison in his Menlo Park, NJ, laboratory. Forget the lightbulb - there's a great mall in Edison called the Menlo Park Mall.

New Jersey is home to the Miss America Pageant held in Atlantic City. Not anymore. They hold it in Vegas now.

The first drive-in movie theater was opened in Camden, NJ, (but they're all gone now!). Who goes to Camden for a visit?

The Great Falls in Paterson, on the Passaic River, is the second highest waterfall on the East Coast of the US. I don't know about the second highest, but they sure are powerful.

You know you're from Jersey when (let's see how many of these I know):

You don't think of fruit when people mention "The Oranges." There's South Orange, West Orange, Orange, and East Orange, I think. There's no North Orange.

You know that it's called Great Adventure, not Six Flags. And it has this drive-thru zoo where the monkeys will sit on the roof of your car.

A good, quick breakfast is a hard roll with butter. And it has to be a Portuguese roll!

You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven. Exit 82 on the Parkway.

You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 A.M. I can't say that I've done this.

You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery. It's not. Where do you think they put all our houses?

At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen, and you know the town Jon Bon Jovi is from. I don't know much about Springsteen, but Bon Jovi is from Sayreville.

You know what a "jug handle" is. Oh yes, and aren't they fun?

You know that WaWa is a convenience store. They don't exist in North Jersey. We have QuikCheks here.

You know that there are no "beaches" in New Jersey--there's the shore--and you don't go "to the shore," you go "down the shore."And when you are there, you're not "at the shore"; you are "down the shore." Exactly!

You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich. I thought they were referred to as "Sliders."

You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls. Yep.

You know the location of every clip shown in the Sopranos opening credits. I don't know all the spots, but I do know a good bunch of them. In my defense, they film in my neighborhood.

You've gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of the mall. Only a few times has this happened to me.

You weren't raised in New Jersey--you were raised in either North Jersey, Central Jersey or South Jersey. I was raised in North Jersey.

You remember the stores Korvette's, Two Guys, Rickel's, Channel, Bamberger's and Orbach's. I can honestly say that I only remember Two Guys and Bamberger's. I'd have to ask the "older" folks about the other stores.

And finally . . .

You've NEVER, EVER pumped your own gas. Having lived somewhere else, I actually have pumped my own gas, but I have friends that have no clue how to pump gas.

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