How Genesis and Phil Collins Got Me Through My First Heartache

A few days ago, wandering through Borders, I came across a compilation CD in the clearance bin - Genesis Greatest Hits.  I quickly scanned the back, tried to remember what happened to my old Genesis cassette tapes (yes, cassette tapes), realized I had no clue, and decided to buy it.

When I got in the car and put the CD in, I was immediately thrown back in time:  my freshman year of college.  Like most college freshman, I was excited to be leaving home and going to live in the dorms.  To me, it was a new adventure, one that I had every intention of experiencing.  However, the summer before, I became close with a, ahem, young man.  Unfortunately for us, he was staying behind in Miami while I was embarking on new territory.

Like most young kids, we spoke on the phone ALL THE TIME.  And being young kids, we had a love of different kinds of music.  Coincidentally, we both enjoyed Genesis and Phil Collins.  Looking back, it was all very silly - but oh!  so innocent.

Late at night, we would whisper into the phone:

I remember long ago -
Ooh when the sun was shining
Yes and the stars were bright
All through the night
And the sound of your laughter
As I held you tight
So long ago -

And later that year, when we fought and we no longer on speaking terms, I would blast other songs:

There must be some misunderstanding
There must be some kind of mistake
I waited in the rain for hours
And you were late

and:

Throwing it all away
Throwing it all away
Is there nothing that I can say
To make you change your mind
I watch the world go round and round
And see mine turning upside down
You're throwing it all away

My personal favorite was this one:

How can I just let you walk away, just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath with you, ooh
You're the only one who really knew me at all
How can you just walk away from me,
When all I can do is watch you leave
Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain and even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all
So take a look at me now, oh there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me,
Just the memory of your face
Ooh take a look at me now, well there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against all odds and that's what I've got to face

Oh my gawd... I can't believe I was so, hmmm, what's the word, MELODRAMATIC.  My poor roommate must have thought I was nuts (Cher: if you by some chance find this and are reading, I'm sooooo sorry for making you listen to these songs over and over again when you were trying to studying or watch tv or talk to your own boyfriend on the phone - I'm truly sorry!).  But at the time, it was so real to me.  My emotions were so raw and my outlet was the music.

Eventually (and I do mean, eventually), I moved on.  And by my junior year, I was pretty much okay (I know, I know, I already said I was a drama queen, sue me!).  But Genesis and Phil Collins always stayed with me.  They are still with me today.

And now, as I drive to work and listen to these old songs, I can't seem to wipe a silly grin off my face.

I think I'm grinning because I was so young.  But then again, I grin because I've come such a long way.