Month One

Dear Patrick,

Tomorrow is your one month birthday and in such a short amount of time, you have grown so much! If every month of your life goes by as quickly as this one has, I don’t know what I’ll do. It goes by so quickly and there is so much to savor, so much to remember, so much to write down.

Being pregnant with you has been, by far, the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. Actually, let me correct that - being your mother has been the most amazing thing to happen to me. And the day you were born was one full of emotion. The second you were born you began crying, and to me, that was the most beautiful sound I ever heard.

Shortly after your arrival, a nurse noticed you were having a slight problem breathing – it was nothing serious, just something that happens to babies sometimes when they are born via c-section. It seemed you still had some fluid in your lungs and needed a nasal tube to help remove it. Quickly, you were moved to the neo-natal intensive care unit (NICU) and they started you on this tube. I was recovering from the operation of having you, and your daddy spent most of the morning running from my bedside to yours. You spent the first 48 hours of your life in the NICU, where the doctors and nurses took such great care of you, I will be forever indebted to them for treating you with such love and care.

At home, you have been amazing. Your abuelo and abuela are here with us and everyday, your abuela washes you down and tells you stories. You aren’t too fond of being scrubbed down, but you love when we pour water over you. You love to listen to our voices. We sit you in a bouncy seat in the kitchen with us and there, you are exposed to all kinds of sounds and smells. Your daddy and I sit you down with us in the living room and as we watch television, you look at us, perfectly happy to be there.

Every night, your daddy takes you upstairs and gets you ready for bed. He carefully changes your diaper and changes your clothes. This is a big deal because in the first days of your life, your dad was so scared he might hurt you if he carried you the wrong way or picked you up incorrectly.

When you are sleeping, you scrunch your face up and show signs of worries lines on your forehead. I wonder what you might be dreaming about that makes you so serious. As soon as you wake, you begin your hunger whine. It goes on and on until you get a bottle. And once the bottle is near your face, you begin panting like an animal. You are so ravenous! It’s very cute – except at 4 in the morning when the only thing your daddy and I would like is to continue sleeping soundly.

When you were two weeks old, we took you to church. Your dad made us sit at the end of a pew in case you starting crying. I kept a bottle right next to you in case you woke up and demanded nourishment. We were ready to go. But interestingly enough, we didn’t hear a peep from you for the entire hour. You did wake up at one point, and I put a bottle in your mouth. You drank every last drop and fell right back asleep. You were a hit! And all those people who gave us skeptical looks when we sat near them had to take back whatever mean thoughts they had of us when we originally sat down.

While on the subject of church, I should probably explain this a little bit. Your daddy and I, both raised Catholics, have not been church-goers during our adult life, but when you learned you were coming, we decided that we needed to expose you to religion. The world is too ugly and dangerous for people to be without faith and we want you to learn that there is a supreme being that looks over and protects you. We also want you to learn faith and spirituality, because in times of crisis, you will need them. And so we are committed to exposing you to the religion we know – it may not be the best religion and you may choose not to attend once you are older – but it is important to your dad and I to teach you and baptize you, which will happen in early December.

I continue to read books to you and play music. I dress you in all the outfits you have received from family and friends. I took you shopping one day and you loved it! You are going to be a great companion during the holiday shopping rush.

And, as promised, you have your own official paparazzi. When you are older, you are going to ask me why there are 54 pictures of you taking a bottle or 208 pictures of you sleeping. The answer will always be the same: because I cannot resist looking at you, and I want to record every minute of your life. You are my greatest creation and I am proud to show you off to anyone who will pay attention.

Thank you for blessing me with your existence. I love you unconditionally and with all my might.